This is a re-write of a writing activity I first prepared in December 2005.
Here is the text we will be working on:
I did not see her until lunch-time, when she offered taking me for walk, and we spent a nice afternoon walking in the woods, and returned to house about five.
Our task for this workshop is to rewrite the text in a better and improved way.
Here are some tips about the issues we need to address:
- There are some mistakes in the text that we need to identify and correct.
- Assuming that she made her offer without being forced to or being asked by anyone to do so, can you suggest a verb other than “offer” that would emphasize this nuance?
- Think of other, more expressive, words to use instead of “nice”.
- Assuming that they walked in the woods without having a particular purpose, can you suggest a more exact word than “walk”?
- “…, and returned…” could perhaps be written in a shorter and nicer way.
Well, that’s it. Go ahead! Rewrite the text making any changes you find necessary to correct and improve it.